i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize