FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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