we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
