How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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