yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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