would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
