plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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