I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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