pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
