I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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