Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
