dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
