hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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