I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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