Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize