Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Panties = found
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
