Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
