i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
