i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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