I showed him my bush... on skype.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
