I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
