Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
