Screwed.edu
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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