First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
