i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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