In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
