so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
