just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
