Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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