I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
