I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
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