I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
