wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
where are you?
Hypothermia
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
