Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
