but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
