Your face is a jimmy john
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He felt like a one man threesome
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
