absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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