I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
