she was so not down for the gang bang
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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