3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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