Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
