dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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