What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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