I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
