hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
