I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize