Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
