I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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