Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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