Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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