how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I could fuck to npr.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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