are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
