and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
