You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
