If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize