first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i barfeds in our rink
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
