When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
